joan, me and juan

i really need to blog now, if not, i think i will die of word congestion within me. well, what i want to say is that i'm very sad. there are so many things i want to say, but i just don't know how to say it out in words or even verbally.

well, looks like all of my friends have gone to nowhere. i'm only left with geek now. sigh. i miss all my friends. friends that i've made in secondary school, the 2 best friends. namely JOAN and JUAN. i'm closer to joan, many things can just confide in her. i'm someone whom i need to say things out, if not i will feel very uncomfortable. i share my problems and joy with my best friend but looks like i've lost these 2 very best friends who went through thick and thin with me for the past 4 years. i really feel like pulling them back to me and start talking and crapping with them but it seems so unreachable.

joan did ask me out during special occassion like new year countdown but geek and me long discussed that we shall go and watch the fireworks. hence, i turned her down while she, juan, wendy and zhen spent then countdown tgt. that makes a perfect and even number. if i go, it will be 5 ppl and i hate odd numbers. actually i'm still quite 'close' with joan. this sounds contradicting right? because i always tell my mom that i'm going out with her to buy new year clothes and studying with her. but that 'joan' appears to be my boyfriend. to mom, she still think that i'm fucking close with joan but I'M NOT! NOT AT ALL! )))):

after coming to poly, i befriend a clique which consists of RACHEL, EELAINE, JAMIE, SAMANTHA, DANIEL and myself. sam left us and transferred to TP. it was like earthquake to me at that point of time cuz i thought that sam will be my very best friend cum classmate. daniel used to be my very best friend but not anymore. jamie distance herself away from us and thats now left with rachel, eelaine and me. somehow or rather, they both are closer. sigh, i don't know why. i just feel very sad inside that i don't have friends with me now, except geek. someone i confide everything in and talk to everyday. that sounds pathetic. but well, this is my life now. friend-less but only have him. I MISS FRIENDS....

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