i'll never believe in love.
Friday, November 12, 2004 @ 11:13:00 AM
this week had passed smoothly with my precious video tapes. i've been watching them non-stop and pass my day just like that. i don't feel like doing any holiday assignments though i'm worried about it.

i quarreled with my father last night because of a television. isn't that stupid? he was so angry that he kept punching my left arm. it was pain but i didn't cry. i didn't want to make him think that i'm a lil' girl. i ran into my room and locked the door. i began to cry. it was not because of that minor television. i don't know why either. i was so angry that i went to tear down those posters which i had drawn and paste on the wall. then i saw those 5566 posters which made me angrier than before. i went to tear them into pieces but i still could not get rid of the anger within me. i went to throw slippers around the room and nearly go and bang the wall. i don't know what's going on with me. suddenly, i thought of the choir song. i went to take out the score sheet and began to sing the song. the lyrics kept repeating ''just call my name and i'll be there.'' i began to call his name over and over again. no matter how many times i call, he'll never be there.

i'll never believe in love again. they had hurt me more than enough and i can't stand it anymore. people always think that love may be wonderful if the couple give in to one another. i'll never believe in it. i'll never be a fool to believe this.